Strike up a conversation in Kyiv and there are two errors you want to avoid.
The first is to refer to this country as “The Ukraine”. It might seem a rather quaint, old-fashioned name to some people, but in Ukraine, that small word has a combustible quality. The Ukraine was part of the Soviet empire; Ukraine is a sovereign nation.
The second error you want to avoid is referring to the threat of Ukraine being invaded as if it is something unprecedented.
What will come back is a frank reminder that, eight years ago, Russian forces entered Ukraine and annexed Crimea, while separatist groups took control of part of the Donbas region.
The bottom line is that Ukraine knows all about military conflict and, for some, the memories are very raw.
Daria is sitting in a cafe, drinking a coffee, when we meet. She’s a filmmaker, animated and engaging, who comes from Donetsk. Her home is now under the control of a pro-Russian separatist group. She says her family now, effectively, live in Russia.
“I’m from Donetsk so the war has already started for me,” she tells me. “I lost two sisters and a kid, my nephew – he was five years old.
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“The war has already come to my house, so I don’t see the difference between war in Kyiv or Donetsk. And this ongoing war between Russia and Ukraine is a huge historical mistake.
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“The people who will fix it is us, average people. Not the politicians. Not the leaders of countries who fly everywhere and make some bargains. We will deal with that. It’s us who will be suffering. Us and our children. That’s it.”
Normal life does carry on in Kyiv. Shops are open, restaurants have diners and the traffic flows. But you can’t fail to notice the tinge of anxiety that falls over this city, even though it is a long way from the front line.
The simple fact is that if Russia were to invade, then the tendrils of conflict would spread far. Ukraine’s army numbers more than 200,000 and a war against Russia could be bloody and horrible. Lots of people have links to the regions in the east and south of the country that would be quickly dragged into a battle.
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There could be attacks from Russian troops arriving through Belarus, or even from the water. The economic impact would be enormous. The uncertainty, now, is oppressive.
Oleksiy is an aspiring actor working as a waiter. It sounds like an LA story, but in fact he has another commitment now – as a reservist in the army.
“Ukraine needs to be capable to stand up for itself,” he says. “Israel has lived like this for how long already – 60, 70 years?
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“With the constant feeling that war can start, they have their whole country ready. We need to get used to this, not to the fact that anybody from outside will help.
“Am I nervous? Well I’m not an idiot – I can see what is happening. But I’m not going to flee. And I’m not alone because I have so many compatriots.”
There is anxiety but there is also a streak of fatalism here – that fate has been cruel to Ukraine in both the distant and recent past, and that it is worth expecting more pain now. Like the rest of us, they watch, and wait, and wonder.